When Intimacy Feels Hard: Choosing Love, Submission, and Care this Valentine’s Day

Hi sweet mamas! With Valentine's Day on the horizon, I'm resisting the urge to write in detail about Hobby Lobby's amazing season Vday Decor (no easy feat, I assure you) to focus on something I think is particularly important as we consider romantic love and Christian marriage.

And that something is...

*SEX *

I know, I know...it feels a little TMI, and I know it's especially hard for us Christian girls to talk about. It's a word that a lot of people consider dirty and very taboo in church,

but Mama to Mama, this conversation is necessary and important when it comes to nurturing a Christian marriage and honoring your husband.

My Wonderful God-Fearing Hubby Jayce Reading the Bible Out Loud

When it comes to sex, us women often find ourselves battling the devil. The devil works hard to get you to have it when you shouldn’t...and to get you to not have it when you should.

We hear a lot about the first half of that statement, but today I want to discuss the second half.

It’s a story that every mama knows a little too well: you spent all day caring for the kids, making dinner, cleaning up spills, doing laundry, keeping the house in order and on your back. You're touched-out and tired., and when you finally get the kids to sleep, you just want some alone time. 

But then, right as you're settling into bed in your cozy jammies ready for some evening Bible study before drifting off into a Heavenly sleep, suddenly your husband appears. He was at work all day, toiling and laboring hard, but he doesn't just want rest. He needs something else in order to relax after a long day. He gives you "the look." You know what he wants. He starts touching, and grabbing, and escalating things...until this very tired mama says…

“Not tonight.”

Uh-oh. Suddenly a rift is formed. Suddenly distance is created...from both each other and God. The potential for connection is lost when caught between a mama who’s so exhausted and a hubby who now feels completely invalidated. How can we fix this picture? 

I've talked about this before, but it bears mentioning again. Our culture today screams "self care," essentially telling us that we should put our own needs before anyone else's. But...that's literally the opposite of what a marriage is supposed to look like (at least according to the Bible).

Marriage is dying to yourself and your own desires daily, and instead putting the needs of someone else before your own: aka, your spouse's needs. Because of this high level of holy sacrifice, the relationship you have with your husband is one of the most Christ-like relationships you will ever experience on this earth Mama.

It's an unpopular opinion these days, but I would be doing all my Christian women readers a deep diservice by not naming this truth:

Scripture is very clear that wives are to submit to their husbands.

Ephesians lays it all out for us: The husband is the head of the home.

But what does submission look like?

(can you guess where I'm headed?)

Submitting to our husbands means putting his needs before your own. This may feel repetitive, but I will say it until it lands.

Marriage and Biblical submission within Marriage means putting your husband's needs before your own.

Mama, he works so hard to make money and provide for YOU. And your family! He just wants to enjoy time with his wife, and who are you to deny him that? Isn’t it an honor that he finds you beautiful and desirable? That he wants to be with you in his way? There are times, I’ll admit, that I haven’t wanted to be intimate with my husband. But once I start, I’m usually in the mood, feeling good, and so happy I was able to connect with my husband in this way.

Mamas, the most important part of your home is the relationship you have with your husband. If that wavers, the whole family cracks. Why would we neglect the most valuable person on our team?

So this Valentine’s Day, go on a date night with your husband. A real one, with a babysitter. Remind each other why you love each other and… have some fun at the end! (wink!)

Preparing Your Heart for Intimacy When You’re Not Feeling It:

Need a little more support? Here are a few gentle (and practical) ways to prepare your heart for intimacy when the desire isn’t there:

1. Set aside your expectations

Desire doesn’t always arrive on its own, and waiting to feel ready can sometimes mean never getting there. Instead of asking how you feel, it can be helpful to focus on what marriage asks of us in commitment and service.

Feelings are important - but they don’t always get the final say. God does.

2. Quiet your inner resistance

If your first reaction is tension or avoidance, take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that closeness is part of God’s design for marriage.

Resistance is often just exhaustion in disguise. Pushing past it can sometimes be an act of love.

3. Reframe intimacy as giving, not receiving

In seasons when you feel depleted, intimacy may not be about what you get out of it. It can simply be a way to meet your husband’s needs and preserve connection, even if you don’t feel emotionally present at first.

Love, after all, is sacrificial.

4. Don’t overthink your body’s response

You don’t need to feel eager or excited to show up. Physical readiness can follow obedience, and enjoyment may come later...or it may not. Either way, faithfulness isn’t measured by pleasure.

Sometimes just being available is enough.

5. Trust that unity matters more than comfort

Marriage calls us to lay ourselves down in small, unseen ways. Intimacy, even when inconvenient, can be one of those ways.

Unity often requires us to move beyond our own preferences for the sake of the relationship.

6. Release any lingering discomfort

If you feel distant afterward, try not to dwell on it. Pray, refocus on gratitude, and remember that not every act of love feels fulfilling in the moment.

Share your prayers and blessings - and your New Year's Goals!- with the Home Sweet Holleigh community! Comment below or engage on social media! Find me on Instagram and TikTok at @homesweetholleigh

Ok I couldn't quite help myself...check out my favorite Valentine's Day decor items from Hobby Lobby!

My Favorite Love Story Is Ours Wood Wall Decor

1 Corinthians 13:4 Wood Decor

find meaning in the little things

find meaning in submission

find meaning in sacrifice

Wall Art Refresh: Honoring God in Every Inch of My Home

With January wrapping up, we’re entering a phase of the year that’s in-between: in between the New Year and the established year, in between winter and spring…just, in between. In the middle.

Times like these can feel nebulous, or aimless…but remember, no time is aimless when you’ve Given Yourself to God. It’s always a matter of structring and incorporating worship into every daily activity, no matter how mundane.

If things are feeling particularly dull and stale, maybe it’s time for a home refresh – one that layers in intentionality to bring God even more deeply into your home.  

Decorating our homes and making them beautiful is often derided as frivolous or vain…the truth is, it’s anything but. Creating and curating intentional beauty in our homes can be an act of worship and an honoring of our sacred Biblical duties as homemakers. 

Scripture calls us keepers of our homes, and filling our homes with intentional beauty that points back to God is part of that calling.

Decorating isn’t about vanity, it’s about creating a space that reflects order, peace, and reverence and a home that honors the Lord. When we create beauty in our homes, we reflect God’s image and God’s creation. Cultivating meaning in every inch of our home makes space for Him to be Present.

I felt called this February to revamp the wall art in my home to be more intentional in Honoring God- after all, we look at our walls most out of any part of our home, so why not make sure it’s absolutely dripping with God’s Goodness, dressed to bathe our eyes and hearts in reminders of God’s Glory?

So I headed…

(can you possibly guess where?)

…to HOBBY LOBBY, of course!

One of my favorite things about Hobby Lobby’s Wall Art Selection specifically is how many options they have for COW THEMED DECOR. They have a cow for everything! If you know me, you know I looovveeee cows and cow decor. Of course, these pieces are adorable…but for me, cow decor isn’t just farmhouse cute; it’s deeply meaningful. 

In Scripture, cows quietly represent provision, nourishment, and the kind of steady faithfulness that keeps life going day after day, much like motherhood itself. From the milk God promised in a flourishing land, to the red heifer pointing to restoration, cows remind me that God works through humble, ordinary things to bring life and renewal. Even the warning of the cows of Bashan nudges my heart to hold blessing with gratitude and generosity. So when I decorate my home with cows, it’s a small, daily reminder that faithful provision, poured out in love, is holy work, whether in the Bible or in a mom’s living room.

In the Bible, cow imagery shows up in multiple forms:

1. Milk, Symbolizing Nurture and Sustenance

Cows were essential providers in the ancient world: of milk, labor, wealth, and more. Because of that, they became quiet symbols of life-giving care.

Think about the Bible’s frequent phrase, “a land flowing with milk and honey.” In this phrase milk symbolizes nourishment, abundance, and the ability to sustain life (sound familiar, Mamas?). Other milk imagery (e.g., in Isaiah 55:1 and 1 Peter 2:2) reinforces the idea of being fed and cared for.

2. Heifers, Symbolizing Fertility, Purity, and Strength

The “heifer” (which really just means “a young cow”) shows up symbolically to stand for strength, fertility, potential life (Genesis 15; Deuteronomy 21).

There’s also the story of the “red heifer,” appearing in Numbers 19.

The red heifer was a young female cow who was completely red (with no blemishing hairs of any other color), completely pure and without defect. She was untouched, set apart, and whole.

The red heifer was sacrificed, and her ashes were used to make “water of purification,” used to cleanse people who had become ritually unclean. Through the waters milked of the ashes of the red heifer, God provided a way back to cleanliness after becoming contaminated by the impurity of death: through the red heifer, restoration was made possible.

God chose an animal that symbolized life to help cleanse people from the effects of death. That’s not accidental.

The red heifer represents life, fertility, potential motherhood, nurture, and continuation. For moms, this hits deep: God uses life-giving symbols to bring healing where death and brokenness touch human lives. God was showing that purification comes at a cost, and restoration is never casual. The red heifer reminds us that God takes purity and restoration seriously; that life-giving things are often poured out for the sake of others. That’s the painful but wonderful truth about motherhood: cleansing and renewal don’t come without sacrifice. Motherhood does not come without sacrifice. We must give of ourselves so others can live, grow, and be restored.

3. The Lone Life-Giving Cow, Symbolizing Provision After Crisis

Isaiah 7:21–22 describes Isaiah’s Pastoral Vision of a future where a man keeps a cow and sheep and lives on curds and honey. This is survival-level abundance: one cow is enough to nourish a family. The cow here functions as a maternal provider, quietly sustaining life in hard times. One cow. Enough milk. Enough to sustain a household.

For moms, this is deeply encouraging. God doesn’t ask us to be everything…just to be faithful with what we’ve been given. One body. One heart. One day at a time.

I am also struck by the idea of cows serving as “quiet providers.” It reminds me of the quiet beauty and holiness in faithful Christian motherhood. In the Bible, cows are rarely flashy, but they are faithful. They give milk, sustain families, and keep life going day after day. Scripture celebrates provision more than praise, and that’s where cow imagery fits so well with a mom’s calling. Biblical motherhood, like the cow, is often humble and repetitive, while also being deeply holy. We don’t always get praise or recognition for our important work…but we keep going, because it’s about so much more than praise. It’s about Holy Calling and Purpose. As mothers, we keep showing up, feeding and providing for our children and families, even when no one applauds.

Motherhood can feel invisible to the World, but Motherhood is not invisible to God. Even when it feels routine or exhausting, it matters to Him.

So Sweet Mama, remember this in those times you might feel unseen in the daily work of feeding, nurturing, cleaning, and caring: Scripture reminds us that God builds His promises on quiet provision.

Milk matters.

Daily faithfulness matters.

And so does your motherhood.

So if, like me, you're inspired to do a little wall art or decor refresh this month, I gently encourage you to incorporate some cows into the mix - Hobby Lobby has a cow for every taste!

Need some tips on how to create a beautiful gallery wall in your home? Check out this DIY tutorial!

How to Make a Gallery Wall (With Faith at the Center)

A gallery wall isn’t just decor; it’s a chance to visually tell the story of what your family values. When you approach it prayerfully, your wall can become a quiet testimony of God’s faithfulness in your home.

1. Start With the “Why,” Not the Wall

Before you pick frames, ask:

• What do I want my family to see every day?

• What truths do I want spoken over this space?

  
  

Scripture reminds us to keep God’s words before us: “Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:9) A gallery wall is a modern way to live that out.

2. Choose Pieces That Reflect God’s Work in Your Life

Mix beauty with meaning:

• Scripture verses that anchor your faith

• Photos of answered prayers (family, babies, milestones)

• Symbols of God’s provision (farm imagery, nature, yes...even cows)

• Art that reflects peace, rest, or gratitude

  
  

Each piece doesn’t have to shout “Bible verse”...some can gently whisper truth.

3. Build From a Center of Truth

Just like faith shapes the rest of life, let one central piece guide the layout:

• A favorite verse

• A cross

• A meaningful quote

• A reminder of God’s provision

  
  

Arrange the other frames around it, the way everything in our lives is meant to orbit around Christ.

4. Take Your Time—Faith Is Built Slowly Too

Lay everything out, adjust, pray over it if you want. There’s no rush.

God often works through process, not perfection—and so does a good gallery wall.

5. Hang It as an Act of Gratitude

As you hang each piece, remember:

• This home is a gift

• This season matters

• God has been faithful here

  
  

Your gallery wall becomes less about aesthetics and more about remembrance—a visual Ebenezer saying, “The Lord has helped us.” (1 Samuel 7:12)

Share your prayers and blessings - and your New Year's Goals!- with the Home Sweet Holleigh community! Comment below or engage on social media! Find me on Instagram and TikTok at @homesweetholleigh

Check out these cow wall art options from Hobby Lobby - and there's way more where those came from! Visit your local Hobby Lobby store to snag the cow decor of your dreams!

Highland Cow & Flowers Wall Decor

Floral Crown Highland Cow Wall Decor

Gentle Cow Kiss Canvas Wall Decor

Herd Of Cows Canvas Wall Decor

Business Cow Wood Wall Decor

I'll Lick The Dishes Wood Wall Decor

Highland Cow On Toilet Wall Decor

remember to always find meaning in the little things

milk matters

be pure as the red heifer

as abundant as the cow

We’re Not "Mentally Ill"...We’re Spiritually Empty

Hi sweet mamas!

Today, I want to talk about a little bit of a tough topic...but it's important. It's something that I see permeating every single corner of our world right now...it's all over the internet, on TV, in our schools, communities, work places and more:

Our "mental health."

People are always talking about it; I see ads for it everywhere on Instagram and TikTok. It’s like I can’t escape it!

Discussions about our mental health are so normalized now, and we've reached a point in the cultural conversation in which people are wondering why we’ve created a generation that struggles with so much anxiety and depression.

But in those conversations, they never seem to hit on the answer to that question. And Mamas, it's a very simple answer.

It’s because we are losing sight of God. 

Stick with me here:

According to the Pew Research Center Religious Landscapes Study done in 2023-2024, there was a significant decline in self professed Christians, with the younger generations turning away from religion more and more. The number is becoming stable, praise God, but that leaves me wondering… what will happen to future generations? Will God gradually become less and less a part of us until there's nothing left, until we are empty and hollow? I can’t help but see the correlation between more people turning away from God in their lives and the rise of negative "mental health" issues.

I believe anxiety and depression are the result of a poor heart posture, and not "mental illness."

You aren't "sick"...when we’re not filling our hearts and minds with His word, we allow the world to take hold. The world is able to yell lies and deception at us, filling our hearts and minds with self doubt, fear, stress, and feelings of unworthiness. God commands us to cast all our anxieties on Him because He CARES for us! He understands that stress is part of the deal when you’re human. Things often feel overwhelming. We take a poor heart posture when we allow that to fill our brains and dictate our emotions and how we live our lives. I don’t want to call it sinful (because I get it mamas, life can be incredibly overwhelming!), but I do think it’s a sin when we don’t try to constantly bring our attention and our hearts back to God.

If God understands that we become stressed by life, why are we not using that life line?

Mamas, I know that the world is screaming about how we need therapy, and to exercise, and to breathe, and to practice mindfulness, but you don’t need any of that. God is enough. Prayer and reading our Bibles is enough. What if we took a heart posture of following Jesus instead of the noise that the world gives us? God calls us to be in the world, but not of the world. What if we sincerely tried to read our Bibles and pray for guidance before spending thousands of dollars on therapy that feels more like an echo chamber?

The next time you feel anxious or depressed, I implore you to open your Bible before you open your phones. 

Self care will not save you. Therapy will not save you. Medication will not save you. 

Only Jesus can save you.

Check out this DIY to help you use prayer to combat anxiety, worries, and depression:

DIY: A “Look to God First” Prayer & Scripture Box

A hands-on way to turn anxiety into prayer—before reaching for your phone

What This DIY Is About

This simple project creates a physical reminder in your home to pause, pray, and open Scripture when anxiety or overwhelm hits. It reinforces the heart posture: going to God first.

What You’ll Need

• A small box, jar, or basket(wooden box, mason jar, thrifted container—anything works)

• Index cards or small slips of paper

• A pen or marker

• Your Bible

• Optional:

  • Stickers, paint, or ribbon

  • A verse written on the outside (or inside the lid)

    
    

Step 1: Choose a Scripture for the Container

Pick one anchor verse that reflects God’s peace and care. Some beautiful options:

• “Cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

• “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” — Psalm 34:18

• “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast.” — Isaiah 26:3

  
  

Write or place this verse on the box as a reminder of where help comes from.

Step 2: Create Scripture Cards

On several cards, write verses that speak truth over fear, anxiety, and weariness.Keep them short and readable in hard moments.

Examples:

• “The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing.”

• “Be still, and know that I am God.”

• “My grace is sufficient for you.”

  
  

These are the truths you reach for instead of scrolling.

Step 3: Create Prayer Prompt Cards

On separate cards, write gentle prayer prompts like:

• “Lord, help me surrender what I’m holding too tightly.”

• “God, show me where I’m trusting the world instead of You.”

• “Jesus, remind me who I am in You.”

• “Father, give me Your peace right now.”

  
  

This helps when words feel hard to find.

Step 4: Add “Anxiety Release” Cards

Keep blank cards nearby. When you feel overwhelmed:

1. Write down the anxious thought or fear.

2. Fold the card.

3. Place it in the box as an act of surrender.

   
   

You can even write “God, I give this to You” at the top of each one.

Step 5: Make It a Habit

When anxiety, stress, or heaviness shows up:

1. Open the box

2. Read one Scripture card

3. Pray one prompt

4. Sit quietly with God for a moment

   
   

This is not about perfection—just posture.

Optional: Do This With Your Kids

For mama readers, this is powerful:

• Let kids decorate the box

• Teach them to write prayers instead of panicking

  
  

Normalize turning to God early in life!

This box isn’t magic. It doesn’t replace God...it points us back to Him. When the world is loud and anxiety feels overwhelming, this is a simple way to remind our hearts where true peace is found.

Share your prayers and blessings - and your New Year's Goals!- with the Home Sweet Holleigh community! Comment below or engage on social media! Find me on Instagram and TikTok at @homesweetholleigh

Check out these adorable jar, box, and basket options from Hobby Lobby to kickstart your project!

Glass Heart Jar

Psalm 139:14 Box

Woven Scalloped Basket Set

remember to always find meaning in the little things

and

surrender all of yourself to GOD